The dreaded appointment for ophthalmology arrived. I've been feeling sick about this. I've also been an incredibly moody cow, moaning and shouting at the kids. Not good. I apologised to Owen this morning after a particularly bad shouting session. It's not OK for me to take it out on them. He understood, thankfully. With all this going on we need to be a strong, united family. Not a destructive, hostile one.
We arrived at the appointment and was seen by an orthopist, after telling him there has been no change, no fixing or following. He proceeded to wave a toy in front of Joshua's eyes. Then explains that the results of the electrophysilogy have not been received. My stomach plummeted, i'm thinking "so I've been feeling like this for nothing". But he continues the secretary is chasing up the results.
We return to the waiting area and wait, and wait. Finally Joshua is called. The opthamologist explains that the test showed his retina is healthy, I'm thinking "we know his eyes are healthy, you've already told us that at previous appointments" . The other test to see if the brain is receiving the messages from his eyes showed nothing and should be repeated at some point. I asked straight out, "is he blind", "yes". So there we have it. My poor baby who is nothing but goodness is blind. You can call it Cerebral Visual Impairment but it means the same thing.
I'm really trying to be strong, David is so upset by it, I've already been upset by it. I knew, we both did, but having it confirmed is pretty awful. I need to be practical, think of ways to stimulate and help Josh enjoy life.
We had made plans to take the kids to the Natural History Museum after the appointment and we were glad we did. Otherwise we woud have sat around, crying, feeling sorry for Joshua, or worse, feeling sorry for ourselves.