A Glimmer of Hope

At Speech and Language today, Joshua closed his mouth on the bottle (Haberman) and suckled, just for a second but he did it.  Then after a bit of fussing he did it again!  So clever, so needed.

So we are to strike whilst the iron is hot and try to progress to the bottle permanently.  It is going to be hard but seeing him close his mouth just reinforced that he can do it.

We felt so lifted by this small accomplishment.  We've had very little progress of late so this seems like a huge step forward.

Unfortunately, not getting the breast gave Joshua the right hump.  This meant he was not too pleased to see the physio's.  The Occupational Therapist also arrived today to measure him for a chair.  (I hate that he needs this stuff), so he moaned, screamed and cried during the entire session.

The poor boy also cut his first tooth last night, after weeks of it being just about ready.

So fingers crossed, this bottle malarky works and I can get back on the meds.

A Belated Happy New Year

We had a lovely quiet Christmas.  Nothing complicated, no arguments, lots of games. Nice! That's how Christmas should be.

I'm a little bit saddened however, because I haven't seen any progress with Joshua over the past couple of months.  Eg, no rolling, no sitting, no purposeful movements.  We are doing light treatment, which is nice as it simply consists of playing with toys, torches and shining lights in Josh's area.  Although that very much depends on his mood.  And to top it all off, my poor darling is teething.  Oh, the pain, it seems unbearable.  A little Calpol (infant paracetamol) works wonders.

Absolutely no progress on moving to bottles.  He is simply not interested.  My Mother-in-Law bought a new one from TK Maxx, like the Special Needs Feeder but less complicated, with a softer teat.  We've tried applying dinner/pudding to the teat.  If anybody reads this and has tried something we haven't please, please let me know.  Josh is seeing the Speach and Language Therapist today, hopefully they will have thought of something.

My Oliver started school yesterday, here he is in his new uniform.  So handsome.

So now we are back to normal.  School runs, after school clubs, madness!

The weekend is nearly here, we simply must have some fun to relieve the pressure of this first week.

Speech and Language

Joshua had his first appointment with the SALT today.  I'm not entirely sure what I was expecting, not a lot to be honest.  I thought they may come up with other suggestions or methods.

We have been trying Josh with many different bottles, Tommee Tippee Closer to Nature, Avent.  Not too mention training cups.  But he point blank refuses to try.  Now whether this is because of texture, warmth, his visual impairment, stubbornness, inability to learn how to suckle from the bottle; I just don't know.

The SALT suggested we could try the Haberman Feeder, apparently many babies with special needs take to this bottle.  Definitely worth a try.

They also suggested the Medela feeding cup.  I'm a little concerned that if he could master this he would lap the milk, this is something we've been trying to discourage as it can lead to dental problems.

Worst case scenario we were told that if we need him to come off the breast (which is becoming more important as my arthritis is now chronic) he may have to be tube fed.  We don't want this.  The ability to eat is so important.  The SALT explained that if this route were taken Josh would also be seen by a dietitian.  Plus we would have to spend a couple of days in hospital learning how to administer the milk.

So in a bid to avoid this I've found an online retailer who stocks the Medela range.
http://www.expressyourselfmums.co.uk/products.asp/subcatID/26/breast-milk-cups-and-feeders

Hopefully Joshua will not be stubborn and will take one of these!

Making the Move

I know that Joshua needs to take the bottle. I know I'll be a better mummy to all my kids if I can start taking my medication for arthritis. The nurse at the Rhuematology clinic thinks I need to "try harder", giving me her experience of her own 2 children, not listening when I'm saying yes I know I have 5!

I have had a couple of conversations with Gail, a very experienced Nanny. She had a couple of trains of thought, 1, as Joshua can't see I should do the move to bottle, 2, start with breast milk then add it to the formula, 3, Dave should take over I should go out, 4, he could go 2 days before 'giving in' (horrible term), 5, watch out for dehydration. Plenty to consider.

I woke up this morning and thought, let's do this. Let's just get it over and done with so we can move on. He had his last breast feed at about 7 this morning. Since then (it's gone 11pm) he has had breakfast, lunch and dinner but nothing to drink. Although he finally took about half and ounce and hour ago. I've just expressed 5 ounces for him and Dave will stay in the front room with him tonight.

But let me say, I feel bad, guilty, worthless. It's like the one thing I can do for him, I actually can't.

I hope that overnight he becomes a happy bottle fed baby because once I start taking the medication and can move more freely surely I'll be a better person then? Less grumpy, more mobile, freer.

I didn't put Josh in his Squiggle tonight either as he is so tired from crying and fussing. Again, hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

On a very different note, Dave went to work dressed up as today was Halloween at the Arc.  He had some interesting looks as he rode in on his bike